Wire Tapped

Pretend you were wire tapping my phone at work today...

This is what you would have heard...

Strange man named Frank: Hello Mrs. Ruch? Yes, this is Frank I'm calling from blah blah blah about Barry Kollberg.

Me: Yes?

Frank: I was calling to see if there is any family member that will be claiming the body.

Me: What body?

Frank: Mr. Kollberg's body...(long pause) Were you not notified?

Me: Notified of what?!? What are you talking about?

Frank: Mr. Kollberg passed away and we need to know what to do with the body.

Me: What?!? WHEN?!? HOW?!?

Frank: Evidently he passed away July 13th.

Me: WHAT?!? JULY 13TH?!? AND NOBODY NOTIFIED ME?!? (Interject here that Barry is my step-dad and I am his legal guardian...he was in a nursing home with Alzheimer's...or so I thought)

Frank: Gee I'm sorry, I don't know how that happened, but will someone be claiming the body?

Me: (Ready to go slightly postal) Excuse me for my utter surprise, disbelief, shock, dismay, (the list goes on and on and includes swear words) No, I don't know if someone's going to claim 'the body' as you so eloquently call him, because I didn't even know there was a body!!!! Could I possibly call you back after I get my head about me?


I.Kid.You.NOT.

Swear to God, that was my day today. I am now planning a funeral.