I think I flunked the drug test...

Today I went in to the Dr. to take my drug test for my new job. I've never used drugs before, nor have I ever had a drug test.

I walked into the Dr.'s office and the lady had this key with this enormous wooden block connected to it. She asked me to lock up all my things and make sure my pockets were empty. Ummmmm, ok. Then...I had to choose my drug kit from two. Odd. Then I had to open it myself and dump it on the counter for the lady. Then I had to potty in the cup. There was a sign on the sink that had all my possessions not been locked up, I would have taken a picture of that said...this water is turned off for drug testing. You can wash your hands in the other room. AND the toilet tank was taped shut AND the water in the toilet was Cobalt Blue. Anyway...evidently you need a lot of potty and I didn't have enough. So then, the lady tells me that I could stay for 3 hours and see if I could come up with enough at that time. Umm....3 hours to wait to see if I can go potty? Ummm, no-- I had to be at the clinic in an hour. She then shared that if I chose not to do that then she'd have to mark that I refused to take the test. Uh...ok, mark what you need to mark, but I'm not sitting here 3 hours. Then she came up with plan B.

Plan B. Drink 40 oz. of water. Ugh. I drank up...and still didn't provide a big enough sample. To make a long story short...you now know everything you never wanted to know about urine samples...AND I have to go back next Monday to do it again.

Plan C. Drink 85 root beers before going to bed and go there first thing in the morning. All I gotta say, is they better get me in quick!