Monday, January 12, 2009

I think I flunked the drug test...

Today I went in to the Dr. to take my drug test for my new job. I've never used drugs before, nor have I ever had a drug test.

I walked into the Dr.'s office and the lady had this key with this enormous wooden block connected to it. She asked me to lock up all my things and make sure my pockets were empty. Ummmmm, ok. Then...I had to choose my drug kit from two. Odd. Then I had to open it myself and dump it on the counter for the lady. Then I had to potty in the cup. There was a sign on the sink that had all my possessions not been locked up, I would have taken a picture of that said...this water is turned off for drug testing. You can wash your hands in the other room. AND the toilet tank was taped shut AND the water in the toilet was Cobalt Blue. Anyway...evidently you need a lot of potty and I didn't have enough. So then, the lady tells me that I could stay for 3 hours and see if I could come up with enough at that time. Umm....3 hours to wait to see if I can go potty? Ummm, no-- I had to be at the clinic in an hour. She then shared that if I chose not to do that then she'd have to mark that I refused to take the test. Uh...ok, mark what you need to mark, but I'm not sitting here 3 hours. Then she came up with plan B.

Plan B. Drink 40 oz. of water. Ugh. I drank up...and still didn't provide a big enough sample. To make a long story now know everything you never wanted to know about urine samples...AND I have to go back next Monday to do it again.

Plan C. Drink 85 root beers before going to bed and go there first thing in the morning. All I gotta say, is they better get me in quick!


jennifer said...

My Oldest daughter does NOT pee in a cup well. It has always been such an ordeal for her at the doctor!

And of course she would appreciate me sharing this on your blog :)

Grammie said...

Where to start? Sorry you had to go through all that on your have no idea what schemes drug abusers come up with to taint their UA results and of course missing a drop is always considered a positive result! If you had been one of my drug using parents, I would immediately have considered all your efforts as pseudo and would note a positive result on their records! Now, being the innocent party of all this, I imagine it was quite traumatic for you and I'm so sorry. I remember the one time I had to test, I had the same feelings as you and felt like they treated me like a prisoner or something. But, in today's world, with our oh so experienced drug users that try to beat the system, it is all necessary. I have come close a few times to doing drug testing for a living. In fact, just the other day I talked to my friend at church that owns a investigative agency. He had a job opening doing just that and asked if I was interested, ha,ha!

Now, about this texting at the table(my most current bad manner sore spot)...I definately am going to do my next blog all about that, so be sure to take note and have my granbabies read it and note their responses for me, OK? Not that it will make a difference to them now, but maybe it will plant a seed for their future thoughts on the subject!
Larry should be in the air on his way to Chicago now..hope you are finally seeing sunshine! Please keep him in your prayers. It will be 60 degress here today and as almost always, I was awakened at 6:45AM by a beautiful sun shiney day with not a cloud in the sky. Why can't Illinois be that way so I could live closer to all my babies, big and small?
luv yo mama, grammie, and grammie nana

Tootie said...

What an ordeal. I wonder why you had to open the packet?? When I was last drug tested, it was years ago and I thought they were bad then; but wasn't nearly as bad as that. Hope it's easier next time.