Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Parenting, Are you good at it?

Lately, it seems I sit and ponder parenting... a lot. Evidently an exorbitant amount...I seem to sit and look at kids and I look at their parents and I analyze their parenting style and I try to decipher motives and outcomes and well, let's just say it's a little bit obsessive. Perhaps it's the social worker in me. The 3 weeks away from the clinical office may be getting to me.

Tonight I had the joy and honor of attending my daughter's choir banquet. She notified me last night at half past ten of said banquet and then politely added that she would be going with her boyfriend's family. No where was my attendance mentioned. These are the reasons I ponder parenting...have I gone wrong somewhere? I know that at her age it is TOTALLY appropriate and expected for a subtle separation to begin taking place. I know this!! Books have taught me this...research has shown this is completely healthy. However....(pause) I do not like it...not one little bit! After much cajoling and coercing I convinced dear daughter that perhaps my presence wouldn't be too awkward or annoying at said banquet and perhaps I could indeed attend after all. I sat at the table with the love of her life, his brother, and his parents. I had a great time. As I sat and observed in my social worker type way...I realized that my big girl...is just that...she is the big girl...responsible, opinionated, at times aloof, confident, oh and beautiful...then there is the love of her life...smiley, bubbly, happy, lighthearted...definitely the youngest. Now...my brain and research tells me this is a good match...he can show her how to live a little and she can help him be responsible. Nice, complimentary, equitable...all in all a nice match. Of course I pondered his parents parenting...much more restrictive than mine it appears, much more detail oriented...yet effective...thereby creating a fabulous son. He so reminds me of my youngest daughter...Hmmmm....what's the point of this post you ask? I'm not really sure actually...it's just the random thoughts that run through my mind on a day to day basis. Isn't that, after all what blogging is all about? ~grin~

After I pondered my big girl's budding relationship...I pondered my own...The honey and I...often times are not complimentary...we're both the youngest...both irresponsible, bubbly, having too much fun, and often just flying by the seat of our pants. At times it's a chaotic ride...but I love it...it's my way of life :) I do believe that this is why the big girl is often annoyed with me...perhaps. Who knows what those 'oldest children' are thinking! Observing them tonight made me think back to the old days...long ago...when the hubby and I were contemplating having babies...comparing parenting styles...to spank or not to spank...2 kids or 10....boy or girl (like we had a choice!) Ever have those talks? Little did I know then what a joy and a challenge parenting would be...and then you get to the point...where your oldest most responsible child is late coming home...yet again...after you had the 'don't make me ground you and be all parental on you' talk...and you wonder...will it all be ok? Will they be a success? Will they be happy? For their sake and mine...I hope so!

1 comment:

David said...

If you're interested in discovering your parenting style based on the latest research, please check out the Parenting Style Application by Signal Patterns on Parenting.com.

The underlying model developed by our team of psychologists reveals an underlying complexity far richer than just 'strict' or 'relaxed' classifications.

And what's particularly interesting is that you can take the test for a spouse and see where potential conflicts might lie and get advice on how to deal w/them. You can also compare results to your friends'.