Sunday, August 10, 2008

Expect the unexpected, and then expect God...

Why does my pastor know just the right things to say? Is it odd or God? For me...I vote God. The title of this post wasn't really the theme of the sermon today, but it is definitely what I took from it. My pastor talked about loss, grief, pain, illness, etc...and how it can make us doubt...sometimes even make us doubt God. What I realized is through all this craziness with Poppy, it is evident to me how strong my faith is. I never doubted. After I got over the initial shock of Poppy's death...I began thinking...the worst part of Alzheimer's for Poppy was how much worry it caused for his mom, (my Gramma Bee). As she got nearer toward death, she always spoke of her worry for him and thanked me for taking care of him. Always...every time I saw her. So when I thought back to the day he passed...July 13th....I thought, Gee...I bet Gramma Bee sent me a sign and I must have missed it. Or did I? I thought for sure that she would let me know she was no longer worrying...and that he was safe. And then I remember seeing a bee not too long ago and as I saw it...immediately thinking of Gramma Bee... You see, as we stood by her casket at the cemetery...a bumble bee buzzed all the flowers and for me, I knew her spirit was free...free from the crippling pain she had suffered. Since then, whenever I see a bumblebee, it reminds me of Gramma Bee. So...although I don't know the date that the bumble bee buzzed by me recently, I can't help but wonder if that was the sign...a sign to let me know that Gramma Bee had welcomed Poppy Home and that she no longer had to worry. I do think...that was the sign...he is here, he is safe and we are together...do not worry or be sad for him any longer. In the words of Bill Kerr..."Expect the unexpected and then expect God."

1 comment:

jennifer said...

I am not sure who Poppy is but I am so sorry for your loss. I will pray that you have strength as you go through the process of making arrangements.

I cried over your story of the Bee. With my Nanny, it was a lady bug. A lady bug landed on my mother's shoulder at her Mom's funeral. She just KNEW.... The same as you, that the spirit was free. So this touched me very deeply.

I still remember when my Aunt was dying of cancer. OK. so this story I have never actually told anyone.

She was laying down on the bed, resting, Christmas morning. She was so sick but came to her Dad's house anyway. I looked down and there was a lady bug. It was dead. I know there are no tears in Heaven, but it was like a message that Nanny was being spared this pain. Like it would have just killed her spirit.

God is good. He will not put anything more on us than we can bare.

Wow. I guess you didn't expect a novel like this in your comments.

Take care and let me know if I can help you through this.

Jen