Exhale

That's how this blog entry started...I'm a bit disappointed that I don't have the paper with me that I was going to use in this entry--so I'll try to wing it. Crazy busy doesn't begin to describe this weekend. I suffered a bit of depression this week over the craziness that has become the norm in my husband's family. A friend of mine and I often make the comment "I'm winning!" when comparing our totally dysfunctional families. It seems the one little joke between us that will lighten the mood when craziness surrounds us. Well, I am here to say, "I'm WINNING!!!" and leave it at that! So, here's where I was going with all that...when I'm depressed, I sleep, (which is better than eating I guess :) -- of course I do a little of that too. But anyway, I found myself in bed soundly sleeping by about 8:30 or 9 every night this week! Evidently, my body has forgotten how to survive with all that sleep, because I sure started waking up without an alarm clock. Saturday morning-- 4:00 AM Ugh-- I slept "in" til 5:15 and decided I might as well get up. I headed out to Circles where I had to teach a class at 9:00. Of course I had made no preparations for the class, and hadn't written the content yet. I had the entire workshop done by 7 -- worked a bit on my desk, and was off to buy breakfast for the staff: bagels, holiday bread and juice...yummmmm. The workshop went well, and I had lots of participation....I left there at noon and had to have Kristina at Cheer leading by 1:00 -- So why is it that of 15 girls I am the only one there watching my daughter, week after week? Kristina had improved so much this week that she got to bring the cheer puppy (the team mascot) home with her this week. The teams colors are red and black and this puppy is dressed in purple in gold. Of course Kristina asked if I could please make it red and black clothes -- uh, sure honey-- let me add that to the list...and when do you need it by? Saturday....check! When cheer leading ended at 3:00 it was snowing quite heavily. I had a client at 3:30 so I had to hustle to get Kristina dropped off at home and get clear across town to my appointment. I almost got stuck twice but managed to get there in time, only to find that my client had forgotten and wasn't home. Ugh--- again! (I should also mention that Brennan was at an all day tournament, and Stephanie was out bell ringing for the salvation army at Sam's club. 2 1/2 hours outside in the snow :( The kid will have more community service hours than the Pope before long!) Not to let the day be a total waste I met Kevin, picked up Stephanie @ Upward Bound, Brennan at his tournament, and picked up Kristina who had been sledding with a friend. Gramma had been working at Christmas tree lane and the girls wanted to stay overnight there. (With her new job she is finally free at night and my kids are LOVING that!) We stopped to pick Gramma up for dinner and all went to Olive Garden for yummy yummy dinner. I had the Shrimp Camprese with was divine, AND I had the leftovers last night! Yumm! We dropped Gramma and the girls off at Gramma's and headed home-- I was quickly asleep, but woke again at 4 on Sunday! Uggh-- I got up and watched the weeks worth of Y&R on Tivo-- Good that Jack and Gloria are getting what they deserve! (Oh, I digress!) Stephanie volunteered with Gramma at Christmas Tree lane (more community service hours :) while Kristina and I went to church. Here's the meat of this story. I had dealt with the depression this week, because I just feel so powerless over the people in my family that do a huge disservice to their children because they are either selfish, bullheaded, or uneducated-- I'm not sure which it is, but the kids end up suffering at the hand of their parents. I just don't understand it. So at Church yesterday was the Cantata-- no message, bummer. (Or so I thought) The Cantata ended up being fabulous, and exactly what I needed to hear. The message was: we don't live in peace because our lives are without conflict, we live in peace because God is in charge. {Exhale} again. Just what I needed to hear. I let go of the struggles I have had this week and realized there's something bigger than me out there and that good will prevail in God's time, not mine. I felt so much better as I left church. Kristina and I headed out to pick out Kevin's Christmas present and to arrange for it's arrival (Shhhhhh....it's a surprise) and then we had to go to Arissa's (Kevin's great niece) 9th birthday party. This is another area of the family where I feel powerless, and have to watch children be raised in a less than stellar environment, but at least I was in a better state of mind to deal with it. When we arrived, I was overjoyed to see that Robert and Ryan were there. I played with them, talked to them, and gave them as much love as I could squeeze in in two hours! :) :) :) I was SO grateful to see them. Initially Tracey said I could take Robert home and bring him to school today, but then changed her mind when her sister said, your boyfriend doesn't want him going to school remember? What?!?!? You don't want your child going to school why? Especially your developmentally delayed child???? I'll never understand it...but I will have peace knowing that God is in charge. I calmly told Tracey that it's her decision....she is the one that stays home with him all day, and when she is ready for him to return to school--- I will gladly come to get him. {sigh} We picked Brennan up from day 2 of the tournament and headed home. I got some laundry done and helped with lots of homework. My mom had sent report card money for the kids (thanks mom) so Brennan felt a renewed reason to work on homework. He did 6 assignments he was behind on from when he was sick, and headed off to bed. Stephanie completed her sludge report-- finally :) and Kristina prepared the dining room for tutoring today.

This morning, I am trying to get a grip on the week's schedule. It's crunch time! Tonight Steph has Upward Bound, I have a client (that I have to reschedule) Stephanie has her choir concert (rescheduled from the snow day last week) and Kristina has a game. Tomorrow, I have a client, and Kristina has her Band concert-then we must make the pretzels for the teachers at Kristina's school. Wed. is their last day of school before break, so Thur and Fri Stephanie can volunteer at my school (yet more community service!) Kristina has practice Saturday and this weekend is the big COOKIE weekend, where we will bake a hundred dozen cookies....the girls are looking forward to it and so am I. Kevin's tummy is looking forward to it, as are my brothers!

One last thing, before I must run...if you're attending Christmas Eve at my house, here are the plans so far...We will gather at 3:00, I believe eat at 4 or so...So far on the menu is Ham, Mashed potatoes, Deviled Eggs (thanks Debra!), pretzel/jello salad, and I'm not sure of veggies (Shana?) So, if you are bringing something, please email me and let me know. Rumor has it my brother will be bringing the video game arcade with him (my children jumped up and down with excitement) and Candlelight Church service at 10:30 --if you don't plan to do church, you are welcome to stay at my house while I am gone...Once we get through the holidays, I'm off to home renovation land! (More on that later!)

So, that's my life in a nutshell today...when I told my friend Angie of the weekend, her face got as blotchy and red as mine! (A sign of a true friend) --- To coin a phrase, "I'm winning!" Until next time...